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Officiate Welcome
Welcome to day on this
happiest of days as we unite to loyal hearts in the sacred covenant of
marriage. A decision to marry is never taken lighten lightly. We chose
to marry who we marry out of love, and – but there is something that goes
deeper than that. It’s the knowledge, the belief, or the faith in the
other that, come what may he or she will be here for me, come what may I
will be here for them. Not just today, not just tomorrow but until I
die. Not just through the birthing of children but through high school
sports and college graduations and a thirty year mortgages, and retirement
homes.
Slightly scary, you bet,
totally wonderful, you bet.
Merry and David have
chosen to honor each other with the highest title and the greatest amount
of respect that a man and a woman can share. The title of husband, and
the title of wife, offered to each other until they are parted by death.
Merry David Take your
titles to heart, take your titles and hold them sacred.
In promising always, you
promise to each other time. You promise to exercise your love, to stretch
it far enough to embrace the unforeseen realities of the future. Your
promise to learn to love beyond the levels of your instinct and
inclinations to love in foul weather as well as good, in hard times as
well as when you are exhilarated by the pleasures of romance.
READING
Excerpt from the prophet
You were born together,
and together you
shall be forevermore.
But let there be spaces in
your togetherness.
Love one another, but make
not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving
sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but
drink not from
one cup.
Give one another of your
bread, but eat
not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together
and be joyous,
but let each one of you be
alone.
Even as the strings of a
lute are alone,
though they quiver with
the same music.
Give your hearts, but not
into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life
can contain your hearts.
The
Prophet
Kahlil
Gibran
Statement of Intent
Offcient
"You cannon possess each other for you
belong to your selves
But while you both wish it, give that which is yours to give.
You cannon command each other for you are free persons
But serve each other in all those ways you can and the honeycomb will
taste sweeter coming from thyn married hand"
Given this – David, Merry do you come
before me as free persons – is it your desire to live the rest of your
days as husband and wife – if so say it is.
Merry, David say together “It is”
Lessons of love
Officient
Happiness in marriage is not something that just
happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage; the
little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold
hands. It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day. It is
never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for
granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should
continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and
common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is
forming a circle of love that gathers in the family. It is doing things
for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the
spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating
gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a
halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for
perfection in each other. It is cultivating Flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive
and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can
grow. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is
equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is
being the right partner.
The vows you are about to give and
receive should be taken to heart for that is what love is about. Remember
marriage is sacred between a husband and wife; Let no outsider guide your
hand, heart or deed, especially me, for we have not traveled the road that
brought you before me today,
Officient hands his book, if he uses
one, to the best man, he instructs the bride and groom to face each other
and place their right wrist to right wrist (American Indian Style) the
sash or ribbon is either wrapped three times or brought around once and
knotted loosely three times. This represents your choice of 1. The
Holy Trinity, 2. Health Wealth and prosperity, 3. Health Wealth and
love, 4. Mind Body and spirit, 5. Love fidelity and prosperity or 6.
Faith Hope and prosperity – ( I believe there have been some poetic
translations here. Historically as a pre-Christian ceremony #1 would
not be an option but it can be a nice transition into ones faith if it is
other than paganism.)
The officient takes his book back
and places a hand on the fasted wrists of the bride and groom and says :
In honor of our ancestors we respect
the original bond of marriage. Merry, David, together repeat after me but
speak to each other.
“I stand here, willing to be bound to
you for life- for that is where my heart is and where it shall always be.”
With hands still on fasted wrists Officient says
“David repeat after me but speak to Merry
Merry - I pledge to you my living and my dying, each
equally in your care
I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night, and
the eyes into which I smile in the morning
I shall honor you above all others
I shall not slander you, nor you me,
When we quarrel we shall do so in
private and tell no strangers our grievances
Above all I shall cherish you and only you for as long as we live
For this is a marriage of equals
Offcient says, Merry repeat after me but speak to
David
David - I pledge
to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care
I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night, and
the eyes into which I smile in the morning
I shall honor you above all others
I shall not slander you, nor you me,
When we quarrel we shall do so in
private and tell no strangers our grievances
Above all I shall cherish you and only you for as long as we live
For this is a marriage of equals
Ring
A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and
the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace.
In these rings it is the symbol of unity, in which your lives are now
joined in one unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will always
return to one another and to your togetherness.
Offcient requests rings from best man, he hands
David Merry’s ring and says “David, place your ring on Merry’s finger and
repeat after me; ( At the same time Merry presents her left hand just
above the fasted hands). David’s slides the ring on finger.
“Merry, as this symbol of my love is unbroken – so
shall be my pledge to you.”
Officient hands Merry, David’s ring and says Merry,
place your ring on David’s finger
(At the same time David presents his hand over the
fasted hands, ) and repeat after me
“David, as this symbol of my love is unbroken – so
shall be my pledge to you.”
David and Merry slide out of the fasting cloth, it
can remain knotted or tied by the bride on the grooms upper arm. (Wink..
I call this his leash) ah-hem I mean trophy
Offcient says – as this is not the first cycle of
David and Merry’s life and because this a celebration of love and family
the groom has a special word for the best man. This can be adlibbed or
repeated after the clergy
David turns to Adam and says “ Adam, as I pledge
myself to your mother so do I pledge my self to you. I know you are
coming of an age when you may not want another parent question your
whereabouts – and what-abouts and believe me I felt the same way when I
was your age. But if and when the day comes that you need a friend, some
advise, or even protection from what ever disaster can arise (a personal
joke fits well here- such as if David has already intervened for something
or – like we won’t tell your mom) know that I am here for you. I give you
this dirk as a jester of my pledge, father to son, brother to broth, man
to man.”
David returns to his bride.
(Clergies-Colleen’s
Blessing)
May you always remember that you are the shield for
each others back,
that you are both heaven and earth,
lover and friend,
protector and companion.
You hold the key to the living and dieing in each
others world.
The bonds you share today are your sacred pledge that
you place the other before you, and your union above all else.
Together may you create a home that becomes an island
of serenity on a chaotic day,
a place of sanity when the world has gone insane.
May your home be your sanctuary where peace and love and silliness rein
supreme.
Proclamation of husband and wife
Kiss
Pin Clan badge to bride or grrom
Kiss again just for fun!!!!!!
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